I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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