Small penises have feelings too.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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