Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize