I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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