Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize