I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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