if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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