Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
