i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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