I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
