I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
