I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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