"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
