Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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