You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
