Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
