after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
