omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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