I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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