Don't make out with my wife yet
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
