If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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