M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
