Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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