i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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