i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize