i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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