What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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