my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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