I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
