im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
