Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
