I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
