that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize