There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My penis needs a shock collar
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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