My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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