So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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