I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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