I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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