farters have to be the big spoon...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
