toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Send help, water and tortillas.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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