sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
