Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
