I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
