New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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