There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize