i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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