The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
