Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Nicole vs. Life
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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