I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
