How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
