If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
