i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
