You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Princesses don't give blow jobs
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
