apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
