You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
