it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
